it’s not always easy for me to open up my heart and share what’s really going on inside. so here it goes, me exposing you to some of the feelings my heart is experiencing a little more than 6 months into my time here. lots of emotions right now—getting bored with the routine and having too much free time (yes, i’m admitting that too much free time can get old ha), craving talking to people at home for long periods of time, and desiring to go home. and then there are others—frustrated with the lack of water usage during the day, flies seriously EVERYWHERE, and eating the same foods over and over. now when you look at those complaints, you probably can’t help but think, ‘gosh elizabeth, that’s so selfish.’ and that’s totally true. when i take a step back and read all that i have just written, i am ashamed that my heart feels this way. however, i want to be honest with you all and seek out your encouragement and prayers, admitting that this journey is not always easy. so here you have it.
i am earnestly praying for my attitude, as it’s easy to become negative as my departure time draws nearer. i don’t want these negative emotions to affect the remainder of my ministry here. God has placed me in ethiopia for this long for a reason, and i pray that i can embrace the time i have left and be fully present. i don’t want the kids to notice these attributes in me. and of course i know these thoughts aren’t God-honoring. essentially i have 2 months left, which definitely isn’t that long in the grand scheme of things, but i know at times it will feel like forever. may the Lord continue to mold my heart and change it for the good. may i better understand what it means to grow in grace. may my heart exude with an attitude of thankfulness. may i identify and acknowledge the beauty in this place, these people, and ultimately our Savior. may i trust Him COMPLETELY and experience intimacy with Him that He craves from us. and may i find the good in each day, each opportunity, and each encounter.
Psalm 32:3-4 “Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.”
may i cling to these verses, fully believing them and living them out. may i better understand what it means to trust Him above all. may i faithfully serve. may i delight myself in Him, trusting that He will give me the desires of my heart. and may i continue to dwell in this land here, serving and giving myself to these people and to Him.
continue to pray for the house kids, the Project Mercy workers, and my students. and humbly i ask for prayers on my behalf, for my attitude and heart in particular. i could not be on this journey without loyal and faithful prayer warriors like you, and for that i am forever grateful.
heartfelt thanks, love, and blessings from ethiopia.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Love you Elizabeth and appreciate your honesty and vulnerability. Putting you at the top of my prayer list and sending you a hug from Venezuela.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth...thanks for sharing your thoughts. It's not easy to admit when discouragement and routine are consuming our thoughts and attitude. But...what a great place to be because this is a time when you can earnestly pray that God would stir something in you to just radiate abundantly these last couple of months. I will most certainly be praying for you and Project Mercy during this time. While two months does seem short...it's still two months that God is going to do amazing things in your life if you allow Him to consume you : ) I will be praying Ephesians 3:14-21 for you, my friend!! love you so much!
ReplyDeleteHi Elizabeth!
ReplyDeleteI'm working/serving in Kenya in a children's home and have followed and related to many of your posts...ESPECIALLY this one. today I have reached my 2 month/half way point in my time here and was literally journaling the exact same thoughts you shared here this morning (even the same complaints of the same food day in, day out...what i would give for a reese's...) . I will be praying for you, totally relate and praying you have a blessed remaining time in Ethiopia!